Dealing with Parent’s Expectations: This one is such a tough. You love them, but at the same time they really push your buttons. . It’s a constant struggle that ultimately leaves you frustrated. They do mean well though, they are your parents after all. They want us to do well at school, find a good job, find a wife/husband, own a house and so it goes on.
However there are time were we feel like we can’t make the mark. Then what can we do about it? You don’t want to hurt your parents. And it’s always good to be the best you can be. I invite you to have a go at these steps on how to deal with your parent’s expectations. And since you tried, the outcome, no matter what will be for the betterment.
Step 1 – Reason with Yourself
Start with yourself. Why are your parents putting so much pressure on you?
• These expectations are good – it shows you have a goal in life.
• Understand that this is how parents care for you, they only want the best.
• So ask what are you currently doing? Are you honestly working towards these? Or you really are wasting time? Or
• Simply you rather work on something else?
• If you answered yes, no and yes, you have a good head on your shoulders.
Step 2 – Reason with Your Parents
Right, you have reasoned with yourself and you genuinely are working towards a happy future. Let’s see if your parents could see eye-to-eye on this one.
• If comfortable, talk directly to them or else find someone in your family who could support you on your behalf.
• Find a time where you parents are ‘free’ and ‘relaxed’.
• Tell them what you want to do.
• You also need to prove that you are and/or will be doing well and that you’ll be happy for that.
• Also, consider any further points your parents may say.
• If all else fails accept that you can’t agree and moreover you can’t change them.
• But, wait this is not the end.
Step 3 – Just Listen
So it wasn’t for you and that’s ok. You can’t convince them but you can definitely control the way you think and behave about it.
• Just listen, though remember that these expectations and most often comparisons made between you and another are not true.
• Since the comparison is between 2 different individuals.
• Everyone one has their own problems and downfalls. We are humans and thus, absolutely no one is perfect… it will never be although you can definitely work on improving.
• When another round of the talk happens, don’t retaliate by talking back and rolling your eyes, let them say what is on their mind. A simple yes and no to any of the questions is good enough to fulfill their purpose – Just listen.
Step 4 – Find Your Own Happiness
At the end of the day it was all about you, your success and happiness.
• Go for it – Work on your interest and related skills. Study what you want to do.
• Nope, it’s not possible? Suck it up, do your day job then do what you love in between.
• Replace the negative talk with the positive – Keep motivated and inspired by hanging out with friends and joining groups that brings a smile on your face.
You’ll find loads of people around you who just let it be. And you’ll find others who have been down the road of taking action. When we take action it is a win-win situation through compromising. You might agree or not agree with your parents but you will feel a degree of happiness by using these steps.
4 Steps to Dealing with Parent’s Expectations
FAQ
Q1: Why do parents have high expectations for their children?
A1: Parents often have high expectations for their children because they want them to succeed and have a bright future. It’s a way of showing their care and concern.
Q2: How can I reason with myself when facing parental expectations?
A2: Start by evaluating your own goals and actions. Ask yourself if you are genuinely working towards a happy future. Consider if you’re on track, if you’re wasting time, or if you’d rather pursue something different.
Q3: How can I approach a conversation with my parents about their expectations?
A3: Find a comfortable and relaxed time to talk to your parents about your goals. Clearly express what you want to do and how it will lead to your happiness and success. Be open to considering their perspective as well.
Q4: What should I do if I can’t convince my parents to agree with my choices?
A4: If you can’t reach an agreement with your parents, accept that you can’t change them. It’s important to find your own path to happiness, even if it means pursuing your interests alongside a day job.
Q5: How can I deal with comparisons and unrealistic expectations from my parents?
A5: When faced with comparisons and unrealistic expectations, it’s essential to remember that each person is unique, with their own challenges and imperfections. Instead of retaliating, practice active listening, and focus on finding your own happiness by pursuing your interests and staying motivated.